Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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