doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
