did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
