Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
