I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
