There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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