is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Randomize