Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
