yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
