They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
