I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
