Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Watching her eat just hurts me
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
