I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We named our party play list daddy issues
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
