Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
