I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
