After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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