Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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