Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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