can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
