My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
