Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
