false alarm. still invincible.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
