Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
