Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
