i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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