Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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