Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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