Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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