There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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