I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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