He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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