Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
