shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
