I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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