I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
