if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
