Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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