Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize