You're so nebulous sometimes
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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