I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
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The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
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Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.