Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.