love makes seman taste better
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.