I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin