And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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