I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just cropdusted the office
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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