So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
