I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
