at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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