so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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