I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize