I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
There's even glitter on my cock...
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