I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
ttyl tear gas
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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