I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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