We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
