Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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