Im at strip club and am horny
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize
