i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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