i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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