I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
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Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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