walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
