i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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