Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
pray to the hookup gods
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
